Everything I ever needed to know I learned through spam.

This is an attempt to be original and funny. How this will work out? I don't have a clue. This has probably already been done anyways.

EVERYTHING I EVER NEEDED TO KNOW I LEARNED THROUGH SPAM

1) The financial opportunities in Nigeria are amazing.
2) Men can easily get larger, firmer breasts.
3) Women can easily get longer-lasting erections.
4) Apple doesn't really sell iPods anymore...everybody can just get them for free by filling out surveys.
5) There are at least 4,721 hot sexy women in my hometown desperate to meet me RIGHT NOW. Never mind there's only 800 people total in my hometown.
6) No, seriously, invest Nigerian. You'll make millions.
7) All girls badly want to pose provocativly and naked in front of webcams for me the instant they turn 18.
8) Prawpr spelin; an grammur: izn"t neccesari when u wannt 2 sel sumting....1..
9) By doing nothing but clicking on computer buttons, I can flatten my abs.
10) Some cruel parents actually gave their kids awful names like "Free Scooter Giveaway" and "You Can Be A Cop."
11) In case you haven't heard yet, the secret to making millions is knowing people in Nigeria.

Let me know more! I'll add them!