Robert's House of Hamsters

Somewhere between Sacramento, the Oregon border and that tingly feeling in your toes.


It's All About the Hamiltons, Baby...

If you haven't seen the Lazy Sunday skit from SNL with Chris Parnell and Andy Samberg, do yourself a favor at watch it. Hilarious.

"We like the Chronic--what--cles of Narnia!"


Pretty much official now...

I'm in the post-college, full-time workforce universe.

You'll be able to read up here.


My Loot List

*Stick of buffalo jerky
*Five California Lottery scratcher tickets, none winners.
*Tube of toothpaste
*Chocolate strawberry
*Four candy canes
*"20Q" electronic game
*Bottle opener that plays University of Oregon fight song.

*"Fact or Crap" trivia game
*Two sets of dress shirt/slacks/ties
*One-year Costco membership
*Guitar stand
*Metal distortion pedal
*Distortion pedal case
*Extra guitar chord
*University of Oregon cap (Yeah, I went to Chico, but I can still root for U of O.)
*Two Books: "Redneck Dictionary" and "50 Places to Golf Before You Die."
*Sports Illustrated's Football Book
*iPod Nano...well, actually, a piece of paper letting me know that an iPod Nano has been ordered. It should be delivered sometime before February, but with the amount of backorder, it will more likely be around the Second Coming.

Coming Soon: How the 20Q game is tripping me out...


I so stole this from Credo, because he said it was cool.

1. Hot chocolate or apple cider?
This entirely depends on if it's hard cider or not. *grin* But generally, I go for hot chocolate.

2. Turkey or Ham?
Turkey. But my family usually gets both.

3. Do you get a Fake or Real you cut it yourself Christmas tree?
Well, since I'm with my parents, it's a fake "space=saver" tree. But, at my house in Chico, my roommate bought a real one from his workplace.

4. Decorations on the outside of your house?
Yep. In fact, I must again recall the cutting of our politically-neutral patriotic lights.

5. Snowball fights or sledding?
Neither, since rain is usually present over snow.

6. Do you enjoy going downtown shopping?
Oh yeah! Heck, put it in-between my non-anesthesia root canal and my appointment to be bound, gagged and treated to a Michael Moore film festival.

No, I don't. Going shopping in downtown Chico is like referreing a sumo match taking place in a phone booth.

7. Favorite Christmas song?
"Little Drummer Boy"

8. How do you feel about Christmas movies?
Much like other movie generes, there are only a few worth watching. Qualifying for this list are "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation," "A Christmas Story," "It's a Wonderful Life," "The Christmas Project" (Don P. represent!) and "The Flying Ninja Fighter 3000's Celebrate Christmas By Flipping Out and Killing People."

That last one was a joke, btw.

9. When is it too early to start listening to Christmas music?
Before Thanksgiving. Parody or joke Christmas songs (such as "White Trash Christmas" and "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer") are perfectly fine all-year round, including such locations as crowded public transit stations, university general education course classrooms, showers, and most definitly my shower if you are an attractive female.

10. Stockings before or after presents?

11. Carolers, do you or do you not watch and listen to them?
Carolers don't exist in Australia. One of the benefits of being a nation of convicts is that we are legally allowed to shoot carolers on sight. Or anyone named "Carol." (this is Credo's comment, not mine, but I'm keeping it because I can only dream...)

12. Go to someone else's house or they come to you?
They come to us, since Dad usually has to work Christmas morning.

13. Do you read the Christmas Story?

14. What do you do after presents and dinner?

When I was a child, this would be the time I plotted ways to utilize my newfound loot to annoy my parents. Now, as an adult--wait, this is pretty much the same. Never mind.

15. What is your favorite holiday smell?

Fireworks. This isn't a joke.

16. Ice skating or walking around the mall?

Neither. I hate malls and it's too warm for ice skating.

17. Do you open a present or presents on Christmas Eve, or wait until Christmas day?

Christmas morning.

18. Favorite Christmas memory?
Can't think of a standout one.

19. Favorite Part about winter?

The opportunity to tag somebody with a snowball.

20. Ever been kissed under mistletoe?
No. But during the holiday party in Chico, Allen, Nick and Luke kept trying to pull me under it, which was somewhat scary. I think Chris even tried it once, while he had a dip in.


So, here's the scenario:

Say that you're a Muslim living in the nation with the largest Muslim population in the world (which isn't actually in the Middle East. I'm talking about Indonesia)

Now, say your nation has had some problems with radical "Islamic" organizations attacking Christian churches in the past.

With this being around the Christmas season, what do you do to try and prevent any more religious persecution from happening?

Something like this.

*stands up and applauds*


I'm still having trouble believing this...



15 minutes ago, I walked out of my final--final.

I'm done.

I don't really know what to feel right now.

I still have one paper to write, and one last meeting tomorrow. But that's it.

I'm going to go have a champagne toast with my roommates right now.

Then possibly cry a bit.


Speed, you can't race haha!, The Mach 5, it is not ready, ha ha!

Crystal moved her blog. I'll change the address when I'm not lazy.

She almost foiled me, but I'm too witty and good-looking to be fooled by such tactics. Or something like that.


The bet

5 dollars riding on this one.

I say Gina is The Carver. Adam says it's Sean.

If you know what I'm talking about, respond. If you don't, trust me when I say you probably shouldn't ask...

A fact...

Journalism is sexy.


A hypothetical question... it sacreligious or heretical to celebrate Christmas and Festivus?


Ladies, I now have proof that I look like Brad Pitt...

So, I just found about this web thingamajigger that uses some sort of facial recognition software that tells you what famous people you look most about.

I probably also just got profiled by the Canadian version of the CIA (C.I.Eh), but that was well worth it.

So, here's who I look like, using this old photo:

Famous Males:
Omar Sharif, actor (63%)
Vernor Vinge, science fiction author (57%)
Nigel Short, pro chess player (55%)
Robin Gibb, Bee Gees member (49%)
Vladimir Kramnik, pro chess player (48%)
Anton Webern, composer (47%)
Lawrence Lessig, scholar (47%)
John Maynard Keynes, economist (46%)
Brad Pitt, actor (45%)

Famous Females:
Demi Moore, actress (51%)

Did you know...

...that when an episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be safe.

Yeah, I'm not tired of it yet. Now everybody at The Orion is getting into it. There's even a picture of Chuck Norris on the whiteboard.


Group Project!

Okay, my next mission for is to create my own myth/legend/character like Bill Brasky on Saturday Night Live.

Now, I can only think of one person who can qualify for this legened. That man is the Red Dragon himself, Brad Kirby.

So get to thinking, folks! Think of the wildest "facts" or "truths" you can about Brad and send them in!!!


I can't help it...

More random Chuck Norris facts I discovered:

Chuck Norris knows how to pronounce Cthulhu. However, if he says Cthulhu in the correct pronounciation, several Turkmenistanian virgins will be sacrificed to Loki.

Chuck Norris is not a man; he is the culmination of hundreds of years of black oppression.

This website actually existed 17 years before Chuck Norris was even born.

Chuck Norris does not use sandpaper while woodworking. Instead he uses his buttocks.

The dinosaurs were not killed by a comet. Chuck Norris destroyed it before impact. He then yelled "psyche!" and proceeded to kill every dinosaur his bare hands.

Chuck Norris drives an icecream truck covered in human skulls. (NOTE: Blatant Bill Brasky rip-off!!!)

Chuck Norris could watch Elizabethtown, The Notebook, The Wedding Planner, and Titanic, cry for all of them, and still be so straight that he makes Howard Stern look like a pole-smoking homo-fag.

One time over dinner, Chuck Norris confided in me that he really didn't like his own beard that much. He then began to paradoxically kick his own ass. That was 10 years ago and he's still at it.


My good buddy Mr. Mike Febres showed me this link to some free naked pictures of Jessica Alba.