I can't help it...

More random Chuck Norris facts I discovered:

Chuck Norris knows how to pronounce Cthulhu. However, if he says Cthulhu in the correct pronounciation, several Turkmenistanian virgins will be sacrificed to Loki.

Chuck Norris is not a man; he is the culmination of hundreds of years of black oppression.

This website actually existed 17 years before Chuck Norris was even born.

Chuck Norris does not use sandpaper while woodworking. Instead he uses his buttocks.

The dinosaurs were not killed by a comet. Chuck Norris destroyed it before impact. He then yelled "psyche!" and proceeded to kill every dinosaur his bare hands.

Chuck Norris drives an icecream truck covered in human skulls. (NOTE: Blatant Bill Brasky rip-off!!!)

Chuck Norris could watch Elizabethtown, The Notebook, The Wedding Planner, and Titanic, cry for all of them, and still be so straight that he makes Howard Stern look like a pole-smoking homo-fag.

One time over dinner, Chuck Norris confided in me that he really didn't like his own beard that much. He then began to paradoxically kick his own ass. That was 10 years ago and he's still at it.