I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack...

Column writing has returned, suckas!!!!

Weird, but fun.

This is officially one of the strangest Web games I've ever played.

The breakdancing Stormtrooper has to save his lady from a giant gorilla who is in cahoots with a reptilian DJ, fire-shooting rabbit robots and an unemployed Zord from the original Mighty Morph'n Power Rangers.

But, the Chemical Brothers track is pretty sweet.

Head-scratch this...

Reason #457,982 to wonder about the sanity of many Europeans.

Cows any hippie would love to own.

Talk about a case of the m(oo)unchies:

Russia is thinking of a very creative way to get rid of marijuana.

Now, the ultimate irony would be if, somehow, that milk was used in the production of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia flavor...

Maybe Insanity is too Easy a Way Out...

In case y'all haven't gotten enough of the Planned Parenthood Lollapalooza, here's some more for you, clips from "Superhero for Choice" with the song "Insane in the Membrane" by Cypress Hill.

Joel Helbring's hilarious creation.

Touche.

In other news

Gerrmens kan't spel.

Well, ok, they can spell, they just can't figure out how to spell. This could seriously hurt the success of spelling bees a la Deutsch in the future.

Money update!

The amount of change in my room is now up to $45.62.

How could I miss this?

In a stoke of genius [/sarcasm], Planned Parenthood Golden Gate released a wonderful little film that insinuates a superhero eliminating anti-abortion activists.

The site took the video down after (holy crap!) it drew some negative attention, particularly from anti-abortionists. Then the site put back up a non-working link (figure that out).

Up to now, there has yet to be any sort of apology from Planned Parenthood. But, as I've seen noted around the Net when I started looking, if this were flipped around, the public outcry would be insance (particularly from Democratic Party politicians).

But, over at Dawn Patrol, the well-known (and controversial) copy editor and columnist for the New York Daily News, Dawn Eden, provides a list of sites that are showing the video.

I very well might have found myself something to write about for an Orion column. *grins*

Just to note...

Today is the feast day of Maximillian Kolbe, a patron saint of journalists.

Yeah, I'm still not Catholic.

Mini-Vent

Okay, so I have no problem with my roommates putting their beer in my mini-fridge. Heck, it's where I put my beer, too.

But for crying out loud, do NOT bury my soda underneath a mountain of Coors Light!

What You Gonna Do Brother, When Robamania Runs Wild On You?

My professional wrestling trademark move would be an Implant Fisherman DDT.

In-Car Entertainment

I've come to the conclusion that the off-ramp of Exit 385 on northbound California Highway 99 may produce some of the most interesting travel experiences I'll ever eyewitness.

You see, after taking the off-ramp, there's a set of two stoplights. Both are part of Highway 32, which is still two separate one-way roads at this point. At the first stoplight, you can only turn right. So, to get back home, I go straight, merge onto a left turn lane, and hit the next stoplight.

This is the spot that, for two nights in a row, gave me something to talk about.

Night 1: Roommate Nick, who's spending this summer driving loads of hay for the illustrious Scott Farms of Tulelake, California, had come down for the night and had the legendary Brad Kirby as a ride-along partner. So a group of us head out and have dinner at Logan's Roadhouse off of 20th. Afterwards, myself and Roommate Adam are driving back in my car to buy some beer, then head to our house, where they are inviting women (none of which, might I note, even looked at me). We pull up to the second stoplight, as the third car in line. Ahead of us is a green sports car, and ahead of them is a red SUV.

The light turns green, and the SUV doesn't go. After approximately 2.87 seconds, the sports car lays on the horn for about the same length of time the SUV hadn't moved. Now, the SUV had started moving, but out of the car pops a hand, pointing out the direction of the moon. Actually not really, it was giving the bird.

Sidetrack: Roommate Adam and I once dreamed about purchasing a giant inflatable balloon shaped like a hand giving the bird and leaving it in the parking lot of a previous mutual educational institution.

Back on subject: The sports car honks again.

Sidetrack: Well, not actually the car was honking, but the person driving the car. Hopefully you were getting that anyways.

Back on subject again: The car gets into a different lane, but eventually pulls back in behind the SUV. They take the same right turn. That's as far as the story went with me, and I don't look at police call logs anymore, so that's all I can tell you.

Night 2: I was coming back from covering a pinewood derby (nobody in the Cashew Gallery dare laugh, because it was damn fun!) and this time was waiting at the first stoplight. That's when I notice the people in the car in front me. The driver kept touching their hair every half-second, while the passenger appeared to be wearing paper reindeer horns. This passenger also appeared to be a fully-grown adult.

I'd like to think they were volunteers coming back from a skit put on for disadvantaged youth. But this is Chico, so they were probably just high on meth.

So, that's Exit 385. The excitement never ends.

Freeze for the camera!!!!

You know, when paparazzi are expecting to take a shot of a celebrity, I somehow doubt that there's an expectation they'll be the ones getting shot, with a BB.

So, this raises important questions. Will there be an official "paparazzi season" starting with Fish & Game? Is there a bag limit? Where should you put the tag?

Sorry, I just have to giggle a little bit.

Hey bartender...

3 parts Cascade Ice raspberry mineral water + 1 part SoCo + splash lemon juice + ice = Surprising good, and oddly enough reminds me of the taste of a Gobstopper.

Cool random fact!

I have $38.97 of change in my room.

Sloganized...

I was shown the Advertising Slogan Generator on MySpace by a friend. So I started entering different things and here's what I came up:

Robert: "Splash Robert All Over."
Rob: "The Science of Rob."
Bob: "Lipsmackin' Thirsquenchin' Acetastin' Motivatin' Goodbuzzin' Cooltalkin' Highwalkin' Fastlivin' Evergivin' Coolfizzin' Bob."
LaHue: "Half the LaHue, All the Taste."
Lethal: "3-in-1 Protection for your Lethal."
Jigga (because I hung out with Rachelle and Bri the other night): "Cleans Your Floors Without Jigga."

See, told you!

I'm not going to go overboard on quiz result posting, but I just wanted to offer further proof of my upbringing...

Happy Hillbilly Congratulations! You scored 78!

Congratulations! You're as country as they come, and quite happy that way. You like small-town connections, trust people, and have a great relationship with nature. Shuck your shoes, pour yourself a tall glass of lemonade, and sit back under the backyard maple and soak up the blissful peace of the countryside.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 94% on rurality

Link: The City Mouse or Country Mouse? Test written by Woldry on Ok Cupid