Rules for getting a flat tire
Rule 1: You do not talk about the flat tire.
Rule 2: You do not talk about the flat tire.
Rule 3: Never, ever get a flat tire on Highway 99 through Chico between the hours of 5 and 7 p.m. Drivers during this time are all getting off work; they're tired, they want to get home and most importantly they don't slow the f*** down.
Rule 4: Never, ever get a flat tire in the left hand lane. Why? Because all those rat bastards driving around you will not let you get over into the right-hand lane so you can get onto an offramp , therefore not having to put on a spare alongside Highway 99 during rush-hour traffic when people don't slow the f*** down.
Rule 5: Don't have Chico PD call you a tow truck on Highway 99. They don't follow protocol (in other words, hanging around) as the tow truck driver will tell you later. Then again, you can't really blame Chico PD, because it's alongside Highway 99 during rush-hour traffic when people don't slow the f*** down.
Rule 6: Remember that, if you have a spare and have practiced putting on a spare numerous times with your father, you don't need to have Chico PD call you a tow truck in the first place. It's a waste of time for you and truck driver, who comments several times that if he knew you were on the freeway, he wouldn't have come out in the first place because it's Highway 99 during rish-hour traffic when people don't slow the f*** down.
Rule 7: If you're going to get a flat tire, try to have it happen in the Friday evening-Sunday afternoon timeframe. That way, you don't have to call in to work and let your boss know you're going to be late because you're needing to get a new tire.
Rule 8: Flat tires are infinitely worse after having spent all day covering a Butte County Board of Supervisors meeting in Oroville--especially when it was most likely the mass amounts of road construction between Oroville and Chico that caused the flat tire on Highway 99 during rush-hour traffic when people don't slow the f*** down.
Rule 9: Free roadside assistance with your car insurance is sweet.
Rule 10: Tire warranties are sweet, espeically if the tire crapped out three months after being installed.
Rule 2: You do not talk about the flat tire.
Rule 3: Never, ever get a flat tire on Highway 99 through Chico between the hours of 5 and 7 p.m. Drivers during this time are all getting off work; they're tired, they want to get home and most importantly they don't slow the f*** down.
Rule 4: Never, ever get a flat tire in the left hand lane. Why? Because all those rat bastards driving around you will not let you get over into the right-hand lane so you can get onto an offramp , therefore not having to put on a spare alongside Highway 99 during rush-hour traffic when people don't slow the f*** down.
Rule 5: Don't have Chico PD call you a tow truck on Highway 99. They don't follow protocol (in other words, hanging around) as the tow truck driver will tell you later. Then again, you can't really blame Chico PD, because it's alongside Highway 99 during rush-hour traffic when people don't slow the f*** down.
Rule 6: Remember that, if you have a spare and have practiced putting on a spare numerous times with your father, you don't need to have Chico PD call you a tow truck in the first place. It's a waste of time for you and truck driver, who comments several times that if he knew you were on the freeway, he wouldn't have come out in the first place because it's Highway 99 during rish-hour traffic when people don't slow the f*** down.
Rule 7: If you're going to get a flat tire, try to have it happen in the Friday evening-Sunday afternoon timeframe. That way, you don't have to call in to work and let your boss know you're going to be late because you're needing to get a new tire.
Rule 8: Flat tires are infinitely worse after having spent all day covering a Butte County Board of Supervisors meeting in Oroville--especially when it was most likely the mass amounts of road construction between Oroville and Chico that caused the flat tire on Highway 99 during rush-hour traffic when people don't slow the f*** down.
Rule 9: Free roadside assistance with your car insurance is sweet.
Rule 10: Tire warranties are sweet, espeically if the tire crapped out three months after being installed.
Robert said this @ 7:11:00 PM
1 Comments:
At 10:27 AM,
StephM said…
I don't want to give away too much online, i.e. Nadine Haobsh's former Jolie in NYC blog.
I think you can figure out where I got the internship... email me for the other deets!
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