Sue-Happy Stupidity #2

Signs of the times:

Toilet Brush Warning Wins Consumer Award

Are warning labels necessary? Sure. "Do not touch or else you will get the living crap shocked out you" or something sounds good for an electricfied fence. Things that have severly increased danger risks need warnings.

In the spirit of this, I have concocted several additional warnings that should be put into the consumer marketplace. Expect these tags to be seen soon in stores near you. In fact, let me know if you do, that way, I can sue them for copyright infringement...

Wax Fruit: "In case you don't notice that this tastes like a candle instead of an apple, this is not meant for human consumption."

Bleach: "Dying is not good. So, if you don't drink this, you won't die from drinking it."

Thumbtacks: "The pointy end can stab you."

Tampon: "Do not get this within a 10-foot radius of a male unless you like see them squirm uncomfortably."

Manure: "Not meant for reinsertion...you know...there."

Plastic Bags: "Do not place over head to block out light while sleeping."

Fast Food Restaraunts: "Red meat...french fries with carbs galore...only veggies in sight are see-through thin slices to tomato on the burger...c'mon, you think this stuff is good for you?"

Alcohol: "It's pretty much a guarantee that drinking this is going to make you temporarily dumber."